White coat. Heels.
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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