I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
