why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
