Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
