dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
