her vagine was all disorganized.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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