I must be too annoying 4 u.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
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