dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
