i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
