YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
