Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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