Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
