maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
