my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
