Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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