I wish my penis had an off switch
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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