Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
