I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
