how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
