How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
