she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
