Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
