I love black thongs
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
