I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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