I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
