I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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