They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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