I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What a dumb baby whore.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I need water and some morals
Randomize
