Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
