adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
