I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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