I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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