We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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