You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
