My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
