She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
