i permit you to call me
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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