He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I puked a lego.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
