She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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