I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
