I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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