Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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