I like my sex mixed with concussions.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
