Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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