You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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