Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
