you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
