He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
