It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I am midnight drunk by noon
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
