My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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