and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Randomize
