I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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