He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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