Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
